I TRY write this update so so many times hjdjkqhdkqwdhqkd maybe shortest will be easiest ~~ 4th December at 4.30am my grandma died.
6th December was funeral, date itself was lolzy because of Mikołajki. Anyway grandma repeated whole time that death or Death rather is something natural and she prefear laught than cry. Welp I guess that everything that happend was her wink to our direction. I won't describe because funerals everyone treat individually so yeah.
Good thing is that I in some way get at peace path with my mother. All hate and angst that I had to her dissapeared, at least for now. Mostly because I really fawking pity her as human being. Now she literally don't have anyone, in plus is in serious deep troubles from financial side and is totally drained from mental and psychical side. I:
I back to my home at 10th December. And here is MEH MEH MEH as well. Przemek (brother of my husband) have Hepatitis C, he have sick liver since birth so in his cause it's double shitty information. He was infected during operation few years ago, but it's impossible to prove so we even can't officially roar at that hospital. Hepatitis C is serious case, in plus it's possible to be infected BUT I don't panic on that matter. First of all - he have operation few years ago, so he have that virus for few years already thus if we would get infection we would already. Secondly it's not that easy to catch it, at least I guess so.
Cherry on the cake is Sebastians grandma - she basically decided to starve gerself to death and almost get her goal I:
That is just tip of ice-mountain. Because of house that Sebastian own and fact that Janusz is fucking disguisting greedy person. Now he took grandma to his home, so at least that although no one knows how long he will manage to stay with her.
What leads to ~~ yeah, teh HOUSE. Instantly everyone have in mind bazilions of cash when someone have own home as building, yeah? Well NOPE. This home have chickens INSIDE and for fucking everythings sake it even don't have toilet =_=;
As no, literally. Instead of normal toilet that everyone have there is latrine I: Yes, it is inside house but just that XD;;;;
In plus straight next to it are chickens so joy.
Literally EVERYTHING need solid renovation. It will consume so many moneys that we would buy new house. In plus we will be tied with very hight bank loan that we will pay since rest of our lives. *sigh*
I write about it because Janusz is STILL jelaous about that house. I even can't describe how fucking dumb and irritating it is but yeah. There is even more things that make me roar, but it's late and I affraid that if I don't submit now then never so :'D
Right now because of Sebstians grandma is real crazyness and it changed day schedule in everyone case. That's why I don't have as much free time like I used to :C
I have hope that soon everything settle and tame, at least a little bit. So I will be able finally be more active online.
For now I just try catch anything and pray that another day/s don't bring even more shitty news :'D
Honestly I'm affraid to write this update but kjdwkjqhdwqdk
I'm in my hometown, arrived here 7th Nov. Because it was that bad with grandma and because my mother supposed sell her flat and needed help with finding new one. Supposed, because in day of singing papers buyer resigned I: It was double irritating considering that they state that they are sure at 100% and have moneys on hand and sososososososoSO sure that asked my mother to cancel next eventual buyers. Yeah I:
Grandma is one big unknown, that's why I seriously affraid because it's whole time one step forward, two steps back. Like few days ago she had yet another crisis and everyone was sure that it's almost end, while now she did serious progres and it's good. Heart strenghthened so much that doctors again consider amputation of her legs (or rather one leg and part of another). They wanted did it, but before grandma would die on table so it was pointless. Now, with all that progress it's needed because first of all those legs are rotted, secondly infection would kill her.
Thing is that I really really worry that all that good news are just temporary again I: Because alllll the time it spin, or rather is real sinusoid considering how rapidly her health state can change.
Mother visit grandma each day, I was just once. Shame on me but I just can't and don't want see her in hospital. Just couldn't hold tears then qwkjdqwdjlkwq
Generally grandma amaze doctors. Obviously she is still under respirator, she never ever won't back to normal functioning since her brain is too damaged and basically she is vegetable BUT something make grandma want to live.
Nothing lasts forever with other hand, that's why each day is filled with fear I:
I didn't get crazy thanks to all those dumb unimportant things that distract me. Mainly Flight Rising. I even can't explain why I get addicted THAT much but yeah. Here is link to my clan profile if anyone play as well flightrising.com/main.php?p=la…
~~ or just type "oswo" in search bar
I couldn't visit DA earlier because I want keep it in secret. Just because my mother have total lack of own life and she would instantly stalk me. I:
Now is finally opportunity, so I will soon reply to all messages. Really really sorry that I'm so fucking slow with everything again.
Few minutes ago my mother called to me and cried because grandma is dying.
Grandma landed in hospital around 2 weeks ago - she got extensive myocardial, lost consciousness and landed under respirator and her state was critical. She was in coma, few days in clinical death. Even then doctor openly said that "they did everything possible and only miracle can save her but personally he don't believe in miracles" (then she had swoolen brain and absolutelly no organ functioning, it was just on her that she decide back to life).
Then it was few steps forward and one back, when finally few days ago she woked up from coma and had tracheotomy (she was still under respirator but as support for her own breathing). So awesome, yeah?
Today turned out that no, because all of sudden grandma get drastically worse. Doctors openly said to my mother that it will be end and that she say goodbye and allow grandma pass.
My grandma still live, so I still have hope especially since during those weeks it won't be first time when she get worse all of sudden. But with other hand it's most seriosu from them all.
After all it was first time when my mother break and cried to phone so yeah ;_;
Also most likely it's not good moment for "coming out" but kjhdqwkhdkwqjhwkehfkjwe I have borderline.
I fight with it but yeah. I even can't predict how I will act.
Right now I search distractions to not get crazy. I desperatelly need cringle to something positive.
I need finally submit bazilion things, maybe now I will do it, if I will able focus gdhqwdqhgdjqwgdjhqwjdghjq