30.07 I finally back from hospital and gpoooy. I have diagnosed hight insulin resistance, luteal insufficiency, amazingly looooow level of vit D3 (norms for that are from 30 to 80. I have just 9 LOL) and most likely PCOS (my bad luck striked again and USG was broke so they couldn't diagnose it I: ).
Thing that is obvious ~~ obesity of III degree (my BMI is 40,8). And I want stop right there because guys I did realize that. I DID realize that. Gained 30kg in pregnancy and never was able lost it. Then tried bazilions diets and intense excercises and lost 15kg just to gain 20kg right away. Then even more diets and lost some weight just to gain way more ~~ classical yo-yo. Finally I decided to just fuck everything and stop bother. Right now I'm stereotypical fatty fat - don't move and eat, especially sweets. Surely I didn't lost any weight but I didn't GAIN either. Anyway I prepare for bariatic surgery - gastric bypass most likely.
Thing that depress me beyound everything is price - 10.000zł. Totally can't afford it nor can't afford taking such hight bank loan. So I will be forced to wait few YEARS at this operation :C First visit I will have in November, so I will know how long exactly, but my mother waited over 3 years; my friend had this operation few months ago and she took bank loan for those damned 10.000zł just to be able have opeation fast instead wait for so long.
Why waiting depress me so much? ~~ Because I realize that during all those years no one will help me. I mean doctors. Whenever anything hurt me or just bother their reaction was basically "GTFO and back when lost weight!11!" =_=; (Even back then when I wasn't that fat,yo!)
Perfect example was even from that hospital, just different hospital ward ~~ when I visited gynecologist. Doc started from classic laught that I'm so fat and I must each tonns of food, I mean like it would be just and only reason. Hehehe nope, when I had enough such "jokes" I replied that I have hight insulin resistance and prepare for bariatic operation.
He quite didn't expect that, I mean like he would expect that I'm yet another fat woman that is way too depressed to even try defend herself in any way. (Usually I am one of those. But gpoooyyy, thanks to borderline my nasty side make me fighter.) Then he asked who is my main gynecologist, I said truth that no one. So he asked why, so I replied that in my area is only one doc that have visits at NFZ (NFZ theoretically means for "free"), and when I visited him then first thing he did was saying that I must visit him private (Private visits are welp private so those are payed visits. Definitelly not cheap at all). Then doc said "it's very good that he said that." so I replied that "no, it's very bad because I can't afford at private visits at all." So then he frowned and said "When you go to shop as example to buy pot then you take it from shelf or pay for it?" so I replied "There are contributions."
At first he didn't get it, since he didn't expect that I won't battle on his ground LOL (I mean if I would say that I "take" then I would be thief, if I would say that I "pay" then he would have argument that it's same with private visits yeah?) So I repeat that "There are very hight contributions." He frowned that "Everyone must pay contributions." and then say that visit is over. XD
(Need explain - everyone who get any moneys from legal sources must pay different type of taxes. Don't get me wrong, taxes are everywhere and it's normal to pay them. Thing is that there they are very hight. Part of taxes go at contribution for NFZ. NFZ is ughhh... lets say that it's like government insurance. Everyone who works legally is under NFZ. Those without work must register. Or in some cases if employer allows then it's possible to be under partner NFZ insurance. So in theory everyone can go to doctor and have visit under NFZ = "free". In theory. In practice it's very very fucking messy and everyone are often forced to go to dotors in private thus paying I:
Best example is endocrinologist - fastest term for visit for endocrinoloist in my area is for year 2017! So peoples are forced to pay for visit if they want go earlier. Visits aren't cheap so yeah I: )
Yaddayaddayaaaa I get meds, hopefully I will endure their side effects and they stabilize me so I won't get diabetes and they should help me lose weight. Also I finally should stop feel so fucking TIRED whole time, as well as mood swings should be reduced or at least not as often like now.
Hope always dies last,yeah? :'D